Gone Magazine

You are browsing the archives of 2008 April.

Now I’m no conspiracy theorist but after smelling and tasting Richards Wild Irish Rose I became convinced that there is indeed a government plot to utterly destroy the homeless by supplying them with large quantities of neatly packed poison.  The bottle itself (350ml) is a slender design that fits almost too well in the back [...]

Sonny Boy Williamson and The Yardbirds
Recorded live at the Craw Daddy Club in London in 1963, this album comes as spectacular end to Sonny Boy’s career (the Sonny Boy on this album being Rice Miller or Sonny Boy Williamson the 2nd not John Lee Williamson aka Sonny Boy Williamson the 1st) and an inspired start [...]

As a collector of the finer arts sometimes a deal is
too good to beat. Be it thrift store VHS rack, pawn
shop “MISC.” pile, or, in this case, the dollar movie
rack at the conglomerate, world devouring super chain
of this writer’s choice. A less astute buyer would
have given this gem a mere glance while asking a
Mexican janitor [...]

This is the April edition of Gone Magazine, and the temptation to spin you some sort of shit you won’t believe is strong.  So I’m doing that, but here’s the catch: it’s true.  You still won’t believe it, and the joke’s on all of us.
So, there’s this person out there named Sibel Edmonds.  An Azerbaijani [...]

As people just like me find it harder and harder to actually leave their homes to see a film in a theater, as people just like me anticipate movies just to trash them, I stare incredulously at my DVD collection for the first time. I own all three Spiderman films, though I really only like [...]

What better way to get the kids smoking cigars than to flavor them
like candy?  It seems to be all the rage in the coach section of the
cigar world.
The trend is very much like the Japanese monster movies of the 1950s
and 60s.  First, Godzilla came along, followed quickly by Gamera and
Johnny Sokko and Ultraman.  It doesn’t [...]

I remember the guys name; Ron Ignatowski.  Dont’ ask me how I remember, maybe it was because the name was so unusual.  His companions names are long forgotten.  We followed Ron and company inside their apartment where they fed us hamburgers and asked us the usual questions; what happened?, where are your parents?, etc, etc.  [...]

April first, 1992, Christ returns in the ineffable image of himself; a threat to no one and nothing save perhaps green leafy vegetables, a rabbit.  In realizing his fate he knew that the word could not be silenced.  His burden?  Testify.  He ran back to the rabbitry and searched hutch by hutch spreading the news.
“I [...]

Over ten years ago, Uncle Sam or one of his corporate brethren made me an offer I didn’t know I couldn’t refuse.  That’s a story for another time, but the short version is that someone–I suppose I’ll never know exactly whom–got angry at me when I said no, and sent me a message loud and [...]

Fetish trackers have noted an upsurge in interest in so-called “piefight” videos, in which people are trafficking illegal videos of the various piefight scenes in film and television history.  They are apparently connected to a bizarre sexual ritual in which pie plays a prominent role.  Extra-creepily, the most sought-after films are the Brady Bunch and [...]